Mr Bendy Straw and the Mental Patients
by Kyosuke Eko Misaku
Summary: The school burned down. Now Hogwarts is getting three new transfer students. A set of prankster twins that rival the weasleys and a very confused lemur join the cast and crew of our favorite book series. Snape is going to be grouchy this year.


MR. Bendy Straw and the Mental Patients

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Disclaimer. It's not mine. It's not mine. Dances on random graves. which are also not mine. Ohh, look a bug.! Some parts of this story are co-authored, those are not mine either.

There was fire, smoke and people screaming. Feet tramped in a mad rush to their individual destinations. What started out as a high school bonfire had grown exponentially to encompass the entire field soon to cover the school grounds. All because of one boys obsession with lighter fluid.

That was two months ago. Two months ago, life changed for three people. The blame was pinned on those three individuals and they were forced to relocate. The Salem Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry would not be welcoming them back for their sixth year.

The great hall was a mired of sounds, smells and laughter. Each person welcoming friends back for another year at Hogwarts and wondering who would be joining their house after the sorting.

"Silence."

A voice rang across the hall.

"Welcome back. Welcome to another year of excitement and spells. There will be new things to learn and friends to be made. Although now there is a fantastic feast waiting to be served. So lets settle our new additions comfortably into their houses so that we can eat." The headmaster grinned and waved the first years into the hall.

The first years entered, their eyes wide taking in the four house tables and their banners, candles floating toward the enchanted ceiling. Their focus shifted to the hundreds of students staring back at them, then to the tattered hat sitting on a stool in the center of the hall.

Halfway through the sorting the doors banged open and three cloaked figures fell into the hall. Their were gasps of breath from several students and whispered questions as to if they were being attacked. The first figure was taller than the other two. With a wide grin he threw down his hood and looked straight at McGonagall.

"LUCEY I'M HOME! "Sorry I'm late. There was a problem with the wards but Brain got past them."

There was a rustling noise and then a shrill squeek. The other figure had thrown off her hood and slapped the first one in the back of the head.

" I told you NEVER to call me that!"

McGonagall frowned then glared at the third figure daring them to further interrupt her sorting ceremony. The third figure shrunk back to hide behind the other two. There was a loud popping noise. Then a robe fell to the floor. As everyone watched in anticipation it started to move slowly then frantically toward the exit. Half way there the robe was thrown off and a very startled lemur was reviled. The lemur turned to look down the hall with wide brown eyes then escaped from view. There were resounding crashes and clanks as suits of armor were thrown from their places and on to the floor.

There was another shriek from the second figure and an unmistakable slapping noise.

"OMG Richie! Now look what you've done! you know Monas shy, and you just had to make an entrance!"

She was suddenly cut off from her rant as an angry cat like howl echoed across the room.

" THAT IS ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU, In my office immediately after the feast."

Soon all the first years where sorted and the last two students where standing in the center of the hall. The taller male who had caused the earlier disturbance looked at the hat curiously. The hat seemed to be staring back at him too. Who wouldn't stare at the guy. He was weird looking. Really weird when compared to the average looking girl standing behind him. He had dark hair and freakishly pale skin that seemed to be emphisized by all the black clothing he was wearing. He had enough metal and chins to drive a muggle airport security guard insane. But the strangest thing about him was that he was obviously wearing make-up. Lavender Brown, sat at the Gryffindor table snickering at him. she immediately started to whisper to Pavarti about the weird boy and his eye liner.

There were snickers and whispering from each of the house tables as the boy approached the hat.

He sat down and placed the hat on his head. Immediately all the noise from the hall was cut off and he could hear a voice surround him.

"Hmm, Cameron Linke you have a very confusing mind. You are certainly up to no good. Ahh, I see a natural inclination toward mischief almost worthy of the Weasley twins.

You don't seem to like your first name do you? ahh, here it is. You do know what the shortened term for your preferred name is, don't you Richard?"

Richie was starting to get annoyed. As Much as I love the smell of thousand year old unwashed hat, would you just hurry up and sort me already. when is the last time they threw you in the washing machine?

The hat seemed offended "Fine the Weasley twins deserve the competition. Off you go!"

The hat screamed "Gryffindor! May god help them all."

The last person to be sorted was an average looking girl with long curly hair and dark eyes. She looked remarkably like Hermoine Granger, but there was an evil glint in her dark eyes and a suspicious smile on her face. If it could have the hat would have run for it. She stepped up to the hat willingly.

"Ahh, Cherie Adel Linke. Fraternal twins I see. Perhaps I was correct in comparing Mr. Linke to the Weaslys. But I digress, on with the sorting. Lets see here. Intelligence, bravery, and unholy sadistic glee. Yes, yes. Wait Unholy sadistic glee?? MISS LINKE. What are you planning?

"Will you just sort me already you smell like damp sewage."

I think I had better separate you two, Snape's going to have an interesting year. Better Be..."SLYTHERIN."

She hopped off the stool and walked toward the table with the green house banner.

As she passed by the table she saw an arrogant looking boy encouraging people to scoot over and hog up all the room. She grinned in his direction, took her plate and sat cross legged on the floor. As everyone was exiting the great hall after the feast she shot a balding hex at the ferret faced prat. His bald head reflected in the candle light. Several people stopped to stare. Richie came up behind her and asked what the hold up was. She just looked at the former blond boy and grinned. Richie's eyes widened and he began to laugh. It took him a good four minutes to catch his breath. By then he was completely red in the face.

Meanwhile a very confused lemur was somewhere in the castle wondering why there was a room filled with exit signs.

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Ok Mr. Bendy Straw would like to leave a note:

Mr. B: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH SUFFER MY WRATH! Squeeky Squeeky

Author Richie: Okay shut it Bendy, you're not supposed to be out of you're ward yet. That's not till later now, GO TO BED.

Author Cherie: Miss mental patient would like to apologize for any trespass that Mr. bendy straw my have committed. And hopes that perhaps someday fellow co/author Richie might find a suitable brain, because obviously the one he is using is defective.

Richie: DEFECTIVE?! HOW IS IT...brain farts and ears sizzle Okay, maybe you're right, I have a headache now. It hurts when I think .


End file.
